Did you know that there are certain habits that some women seem to not realize they are repeating, that will drive a man away faster than you can say “Attraction killer”?
The reason women (and some men too, don’t think it’s just a Venus thing) keep repeating these habits, is due to one little factor.
It’s called insecurity.
And insecurity comes from not believing in yourself or your own self worth.
(My e-Book will cover more about self worth, and the importance of this little ingredient if you want to have a fulfilling and satisfying relationship (not just with a man, but with YOURSELF first)… stay tuned – it’s only a few pages away from completion! )
OK, back to these very UNattractive habits.
Often, when a woman meets a man, she will develop the “Is he the one?” syndrome.
She will already have their future mapped out – how he fits into her life, how she fits into his. Whether or not he will get on with her kids. Whether she should change her bedroom décor to accommodate him... These thoughts will be verbalized by things like “The chemistry was great!” or “We had such a fantastic connection!” or “I’ve never felt this way before”…
These very premature wanderings of her mind will cause the woman to display all sorts of behaviors that will relate to her believing that she and the man she’s met are already IN a committed relationship.
And where is his mind whilst all of this is going on in hers?
Definitely NOT obsessing over whether she is the next Mrs. Right.
And what will happen here is that should the woman and this man get to the second (or third) date, she will be letting off the “I’m yours” vibe.
She might obsess over the first date – trying to figure out if he was attracted to her as she was to him. She will percolate everything that was discussed and look for hidden meanings in comments that he made.
Men can pick up on this vibe very easily, and unless he is in the same frame of mind (in other words, he’s absolutely desperate to “meet the one” that he will settle for the first attractive and semi-intelligent woman who shows an interest in him), he’s gonna run like Forest Gump!
Know anyone of your girl friends who have been gulity of this? Well, now you can share this valuable advice with them. <?
Now, when a woman develops this “He could be the one” attitude after just the first (or second) date, she is likely to develop all sorts of other UNattractive habits too… Because being so desperate to believe that this new man could be “the one” is a sure sign of insecurity and lack of self confidence.
And it is insecurity and lack of self confidence that is the fore bearer of the types of Attraction Killers that will be the barrier to any relationship success or growth … some of these include:
· Putting other women down – negatively pointing out other women’s poor dress sense, bad hair do etc, etc… An insecure woman needs to validate her own attractiveness by making herself appear more superior to other women.
· Talking negatively about your life and/or situation – when someone does this, it demonstrates that they are effect of their lives rather than cause. Being cause over our life means that you are in control. Being effect means that you are a “victim” of your life and that you have no control over what happens. This is another trait of someone who lacks self confidence.
· Putting down your ex – blaming your ex for your break up, and pointing out his bad traits is not what a self confident woman does. A self confident woman accepts her part in the break down of the past relationship/marriage (even if it just the part of allowing her ex to do the things he did which lead to the break up. In every relationship, both parties are equally responsible for the success and for the failure of that relationship. I cover this in much more detail in my eBook).
There are many more types of behavior that reflect a woman’s lack of self confidence, and her insecurity about who she is and what her values are. And these we will chat about in depth, in the coming weeks.
But for now, I want you to know what habits and behaviors are quite the opposite, and that will tell a man that you are a woman worth getting to know better.
· If you are in control of your life and you decide what works and does not work for you, and you are not afraid to speak your truth (in a positive way, not negatively – remember the newsletter about negative behaviors?), you will have a natural glow about you that tells a man that you are in control, and are not a “victim” of life. That you are not effect of the actions of others.
So when you speak, do so from a positive place.
· If you have to talk about your ex (and I don’t suggest you do this on the first date – there is nothing worse than exchanging war stories to kill the attraction on a first date), then state only facts and leave any anger or bitterness out of the conversation.
· Don’t see other women as a threat to you or to your success as an attractive woman. Think about that for a minute…
Other woman can only feel like a threat to you if you don’t value your own worth.
You are a beautiful and sensual being, and your belief in your self-worth, and in the value you have to offer, will be your priceless contribution to any relationship success.
So be aware of the behaviors that you portray when you meet a man, and the place that these behaviors come from – a place of positive, self confident attitude, or a place of negativity.
You have the power to create successful, positive and fulfilling situations in your life. Your positive emotions belong to you, and no-one has the power to take these away from you.
Be happy, be gorgeous…be positively, sensually, attractively YOU.
In : Personal Growth
Tags: attraction "attracting a man" "how to attract a man" dating "dating after divorce" "attarction tips" "how to be more attarctive"